Summer Palace and Other Asian Things

I bought a panda umbrella.

On Thursday we all went on a lovely excursion to an Indian restaurant in Beijing (lol wut) organised by Rob, Bec's teacher. So that was nice, the food was great, and afterwards, when a group of us were tipsily walking down the road trying to hail a cab, we found a Chinese sex store. That was pretty funny. (Bec was not a part of this group. If you're judging, judge me alone. And the other 6 people with me, of course)

Friday, Liana and I decided to ditch the "mystery activity" and go to the silk market. What started off as a simple qipao fitting turned into a qipao fitting PLUS manicure PLUS pedicure PLUS food. So we were feeling pretty awesome about life. Which set us up for Saturday and our tiring trip around Beijing. A late start and we were headed for the Summer Palace. It was beautiful, and smoggy, and humid and I danced with a group of old Chinese ladies in a pagoda to Jingle Bells (what even China?). We had lunch, then a trip to the Bird's Nest stadium (which we didn't actually enter due to time constraints), then a trip to a market (HAHAHA yay :)). Then a Peking Duck dinner and a Chinese acrobatics show. After seeing a group of tiny asian girls curl up on themselves mid-air, supported only by their mouths I feel like I am inadequate as a human being. Furthermore, I discovered that Chinese popcorn tastes like crap. Just a warning for all of you who are keen on travelling to this place one day.

TODAY. Today today today.

We went to the Beijing Zoo. The food's as deep-fried and crappy as zoo food in Australia, but at least in Australia the animals are relatively happy. The panda enclosure was alright, but not as amazing as we'd expected it to be, considering that they were the main attraction. The worst part was the tiger and lion enclosure, where bottles littered the space. Yeah, the Chinese threw BOTTLES at the animals to get them to move. It was awful. My biggest irk was that the visitors really had no respect for the animals on display and generally acted like total asshats. They were so unimpressed by the apathy of the animals that, once again, our small group became the main attraction as we were THE ONLY WHITE PEOPLE IN THAT ENTIRE PLACE I SWEAR. Some guy in the reptile enclosure almost crapped himself when he noticed me standing next to him. It was hilarious. Oh, and we had dinner at my favourite cheap, no-English restaurant. My Chinese is getting better, I think. As in, the waitress responded with something other than utter confusion. Success?!

This morning we also had the Big Move. Everyone transferred from their 2-people apartments into 4-people apartments.

4 girls, one bathroom, 50% available shower floor space due to excessive amounts of product.

...I should go and do my assignment now.

Chinese Beauty Salons

So, first, the Silk Market. It was very busy. And I bought heaps BUT NOT ENOUGH. And I spent lots of money on a tailored qipao, so let's see how that turns out.

Tonight was one of the few free evenings we're going to be getting, in between school, school activities and assignments. Many people decided to hit the town. I decided that a solo trek to the local beauty salon to get my legs waxed was the way to go.

So when I got there, no one spoke any English. They were nice as hell and really tried, and I really tried with my Mandarin but... interpretive dance it was. Anyway, after waiting for a while, they convinced me to get my (by then a little worse-for-wear) gel nails replaced. Chinese manicurists do a BEAUTIFUL job. My nails are fire-engine red and perfectly rounded. Although explaining to them that my right hand was peeling due to my latex allergy and a rubber-based pen grip was a bit beyond all of us.

Anyway, so I got my legs waxed in the corner of the salon, on an armchair and behind a curtain. Equipment scores: rather low, I'm afraid. And there really is no such thing as privacy in China. I had a girl on each leg and all the admin staff standing around watching. They were talking but the only thing that I could really pick up was "bai", which was said frequently and quite enthusiastically. Yeah, it means "white" in Mandarin. And I was wondering why the wax was a little pricey. It contains a whitening serum. SWEEEEET.

The girls also had this thing with pulling the wax off my leg, meticulously inspecting it in the light and then showing it to me, with all the triumph of a child that's caught a frog. That really threw me. Yes, you're doing your job, do I have to pay extra for this (remarkably hilarious) entertainment too? But all jokes aside, I'm getting my nails done there again. And probably my hair.

I'm going to shut up and eat my Pocky now.

There's Magic in the Air... Wait, No. That's Smog.

Well HERRO there. This is a blog update written by Steph, or Jesus/The Pope/Chairman Mao as known by the Chinese people at the Great Wall today.

So, touching down in Beijing (over a week ago now - WHAT?!?!) the biggest immediate differences were the weather (ick) and the smell. Beijing smells industrial. It's not particularly bad, but because you know the smell is coming from the grey haze it is quite off-putting. The smog wasn't too bad when we first arrived but it has gotten steadily worse, to the point where I can barely see 200m down the highway, my throat feels like I'm getting over a cold and when I scratched my face today, instead of getting white makeup under my fingernails, it was dark grey. Not nice.

But Beijing is brilliant! The other students here are great and very, very easy to talk to. I'm the youngest IN THE ENTIRE GROUP. Crazy. What else is crazy? AWESOME TEA/FRUIT JUICE BLENDS YAY. And the schoolwork is not challenging (except for grammar, we "natives" never learn that stuff apparently and now I'm regretting it). However, the work is wordy, boring and subjective so I'm fairly certain assignments will become a bitch.

Yesterday was the first time I felt like I was in China, and not just extended-Springvale. After re-applying for our visas, Liana, Jasper, Jennifer and I (OH LOOK NEW PEOPLE I MADE NEW FRIENDS HAHAHA YAY) went to the Lama Temple. And I looked around at how absolutely different and beautiful it was. "Oh yeah, not big Springvale. China. Sweeeeeet." After burning incense and making three wishes (and three bows!) at the Temple, we hit my favourite local eatery which has no English words, no pictures and no staff with even the most basic grasp of my language. So, not only is the food GREAT, but it also helps me with my main China-goal - learning Mandarin. My Mandarin has noticeably improved and I am in the lowest "advanced Mandarin" class. Basically I have 'ni hao' and 'xie xie' down pat, so now I'm learning useful sentences etc. Exactly the lessons I want.

Friday night, after the temple, I went with the rest of our TTC group to KTV!!!!! (Karaoke). The private room had a STRIPPER POLE and a GLASS CATWALK. Also, when we all got on the catwalk at the end to dance until they kicked us out, a bunch of pervy Chinese guys decided to start filming the girls on the end. I didn't really see the point in that. But I am looking forward to the footage being leaked onto the internet.

TODAY TODAY TODAY. Was a tour day. Bright and early we hit some traditional village in Beijing that was built up around a lake. I forget what it was called. No wait, I never learnt what it was called because I slept on the trip there. My bad. Anyway, Liana and I were bus-buddies (4EVA!!!!1!!!one) and paired up for a rickshaw ride. Rickshaws are those little two-seater carriages pulled by people on bikes. Our rickshaw man was AWESOME. And afterwards we got lost which was tiring and annoying and I really needed a coffee or something.

Lunch was at an enamel... factory? Warehouse? Idk. But some people now have presents. Certainly the highlight of our day was THE GREAT WALL. And isn't it great? Not in monsoon weather, no. Nevertheless, myself and a group of Swedes and Brits ROCKED that wall. Running up, having group shots with random sleeping people and generally being sweaty and loud and obnoxious and whatnot. Photos must be retrieved. I'll get on that. But the greatest part was photobombing other people's holiday snaps. Many a random Chinese person is going to look on their Great Wall experience thinking, "Who the crap is that white girl giving the peace sign over my wife's shoulder?" Or something, I don't know their lives.

Still, our TTC group met at a point at the wall that would be showing traditional Chinese movies in celebration for the 90th anniversary for the CCP. As we positioned ourselves on little picnic rugs, a giant group of locals gathered close. And then started taking photos and videos. At our love for hamming it up for the camera, they moved closer. Then started taking photos in front of us. Finally, myself (being the palest in the group by far) and a pretty, light-haired Danish (?) girl were targeted for prime photo-taking. We were given children (SO MANY CHILDREN), random young women, random men of all ages and even a baby (not for me though, thank GOD) to put our arms around and smile with. I had so many children sitting on my lap that I felt like Santa Claus. IT WAS AWESOME. And now I'm wondering how many people went home and changed their Chinese Facebook DP to "Me and some random white girl on the Great Wall."

The movie was really bad. So bad it stopped being funny. It was a musical. Chinese people really aren't known for singing.

Malaysia

Hey. We (Steph and Bec) are currently jet-lagged but safe and hydrated in Malaysia. Only another 6-hour (ish) plane trip to go. Woo.

Customary First Post

So, tomorrow morning it will officially be only a week until Bec and I set off for China. Wow. This has been a long time in the works and it's weird for the date to finally be so close.

As Rebecca and I will both be posting, we will have different colours depending on who is writing. This to prevent you from reading a post that you are fairly certain was written by Rebecca, and it's all good and you're interested and enjoying your reading and then BAM! You're hit by a sentence that HAD to come from Stephanie, but the writer was Bec and you become so bewildered and disoriented that you black out and wake up the next day in France, draped over Oscar Wilde's grave with half a packet of Cheetos shoved in your gob and a pair of plaid pants haphazardly stuck to you with latex-free eyelash glue.

As you can see, this colour system is a good idea. Also, Bec and I are angry at you for travelling to France and not taking the opportunity to visit us in China.

I would have liked the URL to be 'chillininchina.blogspot' but... apparently it was taken. And here we are, mistakenly believing that we'd had an original thought. You can't trust the world anymore.

Anyway, that was a rather long first blog post when nothing has even happened yet. Stay in tune to hear about us not dying or befalling any sort of harm whatsoever.

Cheers

Steph

PS. Bec will write in green. As you can see, I have written in grey. I like to spell grey with an 'e'.